Notes from a delirium

it hurts to breath it hurts to type the pain is agonising my hands are shaking my ribs its like having knives stuck inside me and when I breath the blades rub my flesh I am aware of my ribs the shape the pressure I cannot breath the pain it hurts feels like I’ve broken every bone in my body I want to die I cant move but then I have to move to stop the pain but I cant move because it hurts too much I feel like an anorexic when she lies on a bed and you know the mattress presses on her bones my hip is like ripping through my skin I’m going to bruise I’m going to bleed I want to bleed because then I’ll know this is real is this real what time is it I cant sleep because of the pain but I need to sleep through the pain its too strong it hurts the pressure of my own body on the bones how can we carry such weight why wont it just stop please just let it kill me I want to die because I’m already dying I must be dying to feel this torture I cant take anymore please somebody stop me please if I could move I would end it aid the pain cause more to end it I no I don’t really want to but I just want this to stop please find me please save me can’t you see I’m dying I need to go to a hospital but they cant do anything no one can stop the pain no one understands this isn’t real is it this is just pure pain

pain

(copyrighted - written and owned by Sarah Andrews)